I want to tell you now a bit about myself, how I came to be where I am right now and about the evolution that took place in me and triggered my spiritual awakening.
The initial spark
As a young boy (see image: me, 20 years ago) I’d always been fascinated by the idea of wise kings or rulers who ruled their kingdom or empire with great care or justice.
Wise men, who would be above the pollution of greed or selfishness – who had risen above the fear of personal compromise and whose actions would defy the prospect of death or loss – who would move with an integrity that was beyond corruption.
Or so was the idea..
I wouldn’t have been able to put it into words back then, but I always felt there was this sort of essential quality one could possess somehow.
However, it should stay only as idea or as a fine knowledge inside for years to come. Like a little light that would soon be overshadowed by the utter phoniness of this society.
Because to find somebody who has risen above the greed, corruption and pollution is so rare here.
And so the knowledge of escape from this dreadful world would soon be lost, and remain hidden for years to come.
Two essential qualities
Historically, and comparing myself to others, I always felt I was equipped with two essential qualities maybe more so than the bodies around me – that would eventually allow me to find the way out of this terrible, terrible existence.
For one, it was my memory, which allowed me to get a certain depth of life experience and so was necessary to give something in reflection so that I would be able to continue to look at what was wrong.
This memory is the experience that had accumulated over the years with which I grew to know myself – or which had laid the foundation of knowledge to draw from. So it is this memory, or substance of past in me, that allowed for the idea to eventually shine through.
The second trait, which I felt I was endowed with more so than the bodies around me, is honesty.
I could see from the behavior of others in regards to the environment or circumstances around them the degree of honesty that was applied at any moment.
The first time I became aware of this I was a couple of years old, maybe 6 years or something, but I never quite knew what to make of it.
The movement inside the body
The mental awareness at the time was developing, as is natural for all children. At birth there is virtually no mental awareness at all, which is why we don’t remember birth.
Eventually I entered puberty.
This is the time of the most chaotic movement of mind in my life, and caused severe traumas upon my being. My being was literally raped and molested by the onset of puberty and the movement of mind that came with it.
Within the physical body the onset of puberty is natural and frictionless. The sexual energy that starts to rise and inform the body of its presence is fine and pure.
The body is innocent.
What is not innocent is my mental awareness that wants to know what is happening, wonders what it’s about and starts to interpret, push, project, claim and move about. And so it acts as a resistive force to this natural change within the body.
Due to this resistance, which is ultimately an interpretation of life, an emotional pain is stored inside the body and the human psyche confuses.
This happens to everybody on Earth.
At least it is so in the current state of human evolution. Because I can see the bigger picture now, you see – where we truly are as a whole.
Most people never overcome this pain – they run from it.
What is this pain?
It is really the pain of being born. Most people never overcome having been born. That is their dread of life.
Speak the truth to me
And so also in me this frustrating energy used to work and ruined my life.
I was still too immature to overlook what was happening. That’s when I should have been told by somebody around me – by my parents, or teachers, or anybody. But nobody could do it, because nobody had done it.
This is a society of deserters.
Nobody could tell me the truth, because no one had been courageous enough to see through it. That’s why I say that none of this society is real enough.
But I could do it.
I knew I had to. What was I given this body for? It’s only for this. How could I not make use of it to find the highest?
Dare you let to go to waste what had been presented to you?
I’m not here to continue to add my burden to humanity. I’ve made the decision inside to stop this terrible prolonging of ignorance and suffering, which is so rampant everywhere on Earth.
I’m not another effect in this meaningless turmoil of human existence.
I am causal.
So somewhere along the line a fundamental change had occurred in me: I was ready to hear the truth.
Life, my savior
So in this life I was presented the glorious opportunity to hear the truth. I did find it. And when I heard it, I could recognize it.
Because of my life experience and honesty I had reached a point where I could recognize this essential quality in existence.
This truth came through me for the first time in the name of someone called Barry Long, a spiritual master from Australia who had died already in 2003, when I was way too young to hear it.
But his tapes and recordings survived and so I was able to hear the truth and my life began to change. Even though I had never met Barry in person, he had the most profound effect on me in my life.
Because he did see through it, and so he could give me something in reflection and continue to show me the light. He informed me of the saving grace that I’d always known about, but had forgotten.
He showed me that I don’t have to live to take – that I could give. What that truly means shall be revealed more and more as my life continues to unfold.
I heard it somewhere that:
-“Blessed is the one whose life is the evidence of truth.”
So that’s where I’m at.
The truth that Barry Long was, is now in me, and while I continue to grow in this active participation of life, I’m here to inform you about it.
Because he was of the West and I’m of the West, and you are of the West.
We share in this together now, because we are at the forefront of human experience and consciousness. We are alive in the flesh now and that’s where we’ve got to do it. It is our turn now to look, and to understand.
That’s why I’m here with you, and that’s what I’m doing.
All that is left to wonder now is:
How can I love you more?
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